Okay this isn’t knitting related, teen related but it is sarcasm related. See this picture?
This is where I get my mail. Or at least, where I USED to get my mail prior to December 9th when my hag of a mail carrier got a snow bug up her ass.
Yes, ladies and gents, you guessed it. I haven’t received a mail delivery since DECEMBER F*CKING NINTH.
You see, we live in a somewhat dangerous section of the road – a section where cars/tractor trailers do not understand the concept of 35 mph being the speed limit (meaning you cannot go faster than the speed of light) – so we have to have our mailbox on our neighbor’s property. Therefore, we rely on our neighbor to shovel out in front of the f*cking mailboxes when there is a storm – or at least, have the guy plowing the driveway do a pass in front of them. Well, the 9th being the first ‘big’ storm of the season (big? HA! 7 or 8 inches ain’t ‘big’ and I can’t wait to see a *really* big storm) the guy plowing forgot to do a pass. No biggie, we thought, she delivered last year with no issues so it shouldn’t be an issue this year.
Apparently, it’s an issue.
I spent about 1/2 hour on the phone with the new postmaster yesterday discussing this ‘issue’ and explaining to him that it is a dangerous section and shoveling is pretty hard to do and she delivered last year so WHAT THE F*CK?!? He said he would have her deliver it yesterday. Guess what? No mail.
The woman drives a Grand Cherokee. Not a Honda, for cripes sake. A. Grand. Cherokee. I’m assuming that she drives such a vehicle so she can deliver the mail no matter what. Apparently that is a pretty big assumption (And even if the damned thing doesn’t have 4wd why can’t she get her lazy ass out of her GC to DELIVER. MY. MAIL. Bitch.)
So I called this morning (AFTER SHOVELING IT OUT AT 11PM AND TAKING MY LIFE INTO MY OWN HANDS. Oh, and taking pictures) and he said he would deliver the mail personally and ‘inspect the snow issue’ and get back to me. Oh boy I can’t tell you how happy I am that I took shovel in hand last night.
Can I tell you – there are other mailboxes on her route that don’t have a speck of snow removed and she is delivering to them. How do I know this? Well, since I’m stuck in this predicament I have been checking out the other boxes on my route (of course) AND he told me yesterday that we are the only people who have this issue. WTF?! grrrrr.
The other issue? The property in question is rented by no less than four individuals who all get their mail delivered to them. Why the hell aren’t THEY complaining?!? Again, WTF?!?!
I WANT MY F*CKING INTERWEAVE KNITS MAGAZINE, BITCH. SO DELIVER IT. NOW.
The NINTH. No mail since the NINTH.
That’s eleven days, in case you’re keeping track. I am.