Lucy and Ethel go to IKEA

The things I learned during my first visit to IKEA:

  • Their carts are WEIRD.
  • Swear to God they pack rocks in with the furniture ‘cuz that sh*t’s heavy.
  • The Swedish Meatballs are awesome
  • It is entirely possible to spend over $400 and not realize it – because they’re sneaky.
  • Carole is just as tricksy in person as she is via email/blogosphere ;o)
  • I can’t wait to go back.

Have you ever met someone and had an instant connection with them? I mean, I’ve met lots of knitters and felt an instant affinity, but when I first saw Carole in ‘real life’ I felt that I had known her forever. I got to her house at just the right time to meet her husband too and also felt comfortable with him right away. It helps that I grew up doing Civil War reenactments with my parents and Dale looks like he could step into a uniform from that time period and fit right in – in other words, we speak the same language. (Civil War Reenacting is a hobby way of life for them) Within five minutes Carole had me drooling over her sock yarn collection and was letting me pet her spinning wheels and fiber stash. I was able to resist the urge to sit down in front of one of them however, I have a feeling I won’t be able to resist for much longer. (Especially considering the first thing I said to Roger this morning was, “Good Morning honey, I think I want to spin.” ;o) To which he replied, “How about we get a new laundry room, first, okay?”).

After an hour or so of talking – and finding out that Carole and Dale have visited my part of the state several times – we got ready to go to IKEA (which was one of my reasons for going out there – I really wanted to meet Carole but I REALLY wanted to go to IKEA). I must have made a good impression because Carole said she’d ride with me to the store so we could talk more. When she got in she noticed my new toy so that took 10 minutes of me showing her that I know nothing about it other than my audible books ;o) After that I scared the hell out of her drove to IKEA and was sufficiently awed by the size of the building we drove up to. This place is HUGE! The first thing we did was get something to eat (well, the FIRST thing we did was park the car), then I realized I forgot my phone out in the car so I ran out to the car and Carole waited for me inside.

Then, the tour began. At first, Carole had mocked me laughed at the fact that I had an IKEA catalog in my car. She was pretty happy about it during our stroll through the store, though, since I had already picked out what I wanted and didn’t dilly-dally! I love the way they have everything laid out so you can see how it will look in the ‘real’ world. I also love how they’ve made more ‘traditional’ furniture so I can get stuff that works in my 200 or so year old house. I ended up getting an extremely large cupboard/cabinet thingy for the laundry room that is a little over 6 1/2 feet tall. And it comes in one loooong box with several smaller boxes. This is important and will come into play later on in this little dialogue.

There will be a test.

This is also where IKEA gets sneaky. They have me pay for this, the most expensive item I’m buying, separately. This lulls me into the feeling that I’m not spending as much as I’m really spending because it doesn’t all get totaled together so I’m not staring at a purchased items total larger than any car payment I’ve ever had. Sneaky bastards.

We finished with the top floor and went downstairs where the smaller stuff is and decided that we needed a cart. These carts are freaky weird. The wheels turn (not just around, either – I’m talking about to the right and left). ALL the wheels turn. Your average shopping cart has the two front wheels that turn and the back two that don’t. These all turn. It’s like drunken shopping cart driving if you’re not used to it, which I’m not. I almost took out a small family at my first turn because SOMEONE *ahem* didn’t warn me to start steering like six feet before I wanted to actually turn. I didn’t learn my lesson, either because I almost took out a pile of baskets, Carole herself (which is how she thought up the title for my post) and an IKEA employee during my wild drunken foray through the 1st floor.

It was also on this floor that I learned that I do ADD shopping. Several times I’d be halfway through a sentence, see something out of the corner of my eye and go “oooooh a insert lovely object here“. Sensory overload. I’m worse at the Christmas Tree Shops.

We finished walking through the 1st floor and it was time to go fetch my coffee table (the cupboard was in this entirely different area that we had to go to). This is where my and Carole’s new-found friendship began to be tested. First, she handled it very well when I laughed hysterically while she stood rooted to the spot while the cart-dispenser thingy threw carts in her general direction (bawahhahahahaha *ahem* I guess you had to be there…) then getting the damned table onto the cart (this thing is HEAVY) and THEN (here is the icing on the cake) getting the f-ing 7 foot long package that is my new cupboard to fit into my 6 foot long Jeep interior. Oh. My. God. What a nightmare. And stupid me couldn’t stop apologizing. I think if she could have lifted the thing by herself she would have smacked me with it just because I wouldn’t. stop. apologizing.

I totally blame RR too, it was HIS idea to buy the damned cupboard.

We then headed back to chez Carole where I got to meet her daughter who is three years younger than mine. It was like deja vu every five minutes. She is almost exactly like my daughter. She even talks as fast and as much as Dobby ;o) We spent a nice quiet hour knitting which helped me recharge my batteries for the ride home.

Okay I’m going to wrap this novel up. I had a wonderful time, Carole was a lovely tour guide (even pointed out the local ‘flora’ *snort* Where can I get boots like those?), she has a wonderful family and a beautiful home. We got along famously and I hope to see her again very soon – and hope that she will come to visit my neck of the woods VERY SOON. So thanks again, C – I can’t wait to do it again!

I’m sure you noticed the lack of pictures – I was a very, very bad blogger and didn’t think about my camera for a moment while we were in the store. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me!

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