Have you ever…

…had a hitch in your plumbing?

…gotten a sinking feeling when your daughter exclaims, “The toilet won’t flush!”

…had your house smell like a port-a-potty on the last day at the fair?

No?

Then you won’t understand this lovely story – you may want to move along now. There will be some yarn p0rn towards the end so you could scroll down and enjoy that but the in-between parts not so much.

Let’s all go back to last Thursday. We have our friends over to watch Survivor – one of these friends has known RR since they were small children. There are bath photos somewhere…but I digress. There are seven people at my house and my daughter made the above declaration. RR and I are both aware that you need to call the ‘poop fairy’ at regular intervals when you have a septic but he is the King of Procrastination and I am his Queen. After Dobby informed RR of the ‘backup’ he went in to try to fix it. Which was just not happening.

Nothing says ‘night of fun’ than going to your best friends’ house and helping them unclog their plumbing, eh?

We live in an old house. The plumbing is frightening to say the least but we live with it as is because we don’t have 30k sitting around to redo everything and you know what? Right now (well, not THEN) it works. So don’t judge us, mmmkay? The way the plumbing in our house is….well, it’s all connected. If you try to unstick the shower and you don’t plug up the sink you’re going to have your shower in the sink, if you know what I mean. SO the unclogging was a ‘group effort’. One friend was plugging the kitchen sink, one the drain for the washer (at least I thought he was. I found out later that he Was. Not.), one the bathroom sink and I had the dubious honor of holding my (gloved) hand over the overflow in the shower. What joy. It worked temporarily however….well, it was bad. The next day found me trotting across the road to our neighbor’s house to use their facilities while RR was at work (lucky bastard). He came to the conclusion about the septic at 6pm on Friday. This meant that we were stuck with the nightmare until Monday.

In the meantime, RR needed to find the tank in the yard so the ‘poop fairy’ (which is my name for him, btw. However, how hilarious would it be if you had a septic cleaning service and called it ‘The Poop Fairy’?!?) could get in there and do his magic. First, he tried a metal detector, which led to the first hole on the Right. THEN he got a copy of the map from the guy who installed the system, which led to the hold he is presently digging. With one hand. While holding the map in the other. When I asked him why he chose this method he replied, “I didn’t want to mess up the map.” This logic had me completely stumped – all I could do was giggle at him. Thankfully he saw the humor in it and started laughing with me ;o)

The tank was nowhere near either of those holes, btw. Apparently I have been parking on the septic tank for seven years and had no idea. (sorry no photo) He found the tank and uncovered it – which was an accomplishment in and of itself, believe me. It’s four feet down. That’s a lot of digging!

I dealt with going across the street to use the facilities until Sunday when I just couldn’t take it anymore, shipped the kid off to her grandparents and got a hotel room in town. It was the best shower, ever.

The ‘poop fairy’ came on Monday and cleaned out the tank. He was already there when RR and I returned and dummy me thought that I’d be able to follow RR over and talk to the guy. I got as far as the corner of the house and almost tossed my Continental Breakfast right onto the driveway. It was at that moment that I decided that I absolutely *had* to go to the mall that very second to replenish my hair supplies ;o)

While there I received a ‘SUCCESS!’ call – we had flowage!!

The moral to this story? If you have a septic, call your local ‘poop fairy’ every three years. Don’t wait twenty five like we did ;o)

So, on to happier news. I received my first STR Club package yesterday! I cast on for the socks about five minutes after ripping the package open ;o) Not sure if I like this pattern but we’ll see. I’ve also never done a picot edge before so that was a learning process for me.

Okay, it’s still tax season and I have a pile of papers glaring at me…back to the coal mines…first though, I think I’m going to go flush my toilet. Just because I can.

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