Bumper Sticker Mojo…or lack thereof…
Tuesday, April 11th, 2006<p>I mentioned in my last post that I labor under a ‘bumper sticker curse’. A few of you expressed interest in hearing about it…so…here it is, from the beginning:</p><p>The year was 1987 and the car was a 1982 VW Rabbit - diesel, 4 speed and banana yellow. Some people might argue that the color was what did it in, I know it was the bumper sticker. </p><p>I had owned the car for a year or so when I decided to put a Jerry Bear sticker on the back. A week later, the timing chain blew. Into little bits.</p><p>The next vehicle I put a sticker on was a 1994 Ford Escort. I believe the sticker read "Defy Authority" (ohboy the cops loved that one). A couple of weeks later, the gas pump AND the water pump went.</p><p>I started to smarten up at that point and decided that I could fight the Mojo - that placing a sticker in the back window wasn’t the same as sticking it on the car. I learned an important lesson. Mojo doesn’t follow any logic known to mankind.</p><p>I had a 1987 Ford Taurus, I placed a ‘Blessed Be’ sticker in the back window. About a week after that, the all wheel drive when kerplunk. Yes, I had a Taurus that had AWD - they were rare. So rare that it would have cost more than twice what the car was worth to fix it. Damned Mojo.</p><p>So I decided I’d go with it, no more stickers on cars for me! I managed to last a few cars and a few years before I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had to let the world know my thoughts, my dreams, my stupid sense of humor.</p><p>I decided that if I was going to do it, I was going to jump in with both feet. It was a 1989 Subaru wagon and it had no idea what was coming at it. In one day I slapped on the Jerry Bears, a ‘Blessed Be’ sticker, a ‘my other car is a broom’ sticker (I was going through a ‘Wiccan Hippie’ phase. No judging.), a couple of peace signs, and a pretty little fairy (which someday, <strike>if</strike> when I work up the courage, I’d like to make into a tat). Three days later the electrical system went. Damned thing wouldn’t let me out of the car. It locked/unlocked at will. The windows wouldn’t go down and even worse - THE RADIO DIED. I drove it like that for a week (this is after I met <span title="Roger Rabbit - my SO" class="serendipity_glossaryMarkup">RR</span>, btw) and then…the clunking started. I can’t say anymore, it’s too painful. Let’s just say we moved on.</p><p><i>Although, there is a happy end to the ‘roo story - I got to drive the Tacoma *big grin* It was a five-speed 6 cylinder and ohDAMN could it go when I told it to. SSSHHHH - don’t tell RR *giggle* I miss that truck. THAT truck fell victim to the ‘one last’ curse. Which is a story for another day.</i></p><p>The next victim was my 2000 Honda Civic. I put a sticker on the back of that (another peace sign) and a week later it was practically demolished in a freak hailstorm. No lie. They had to replace the hood, the roof, the trunk and get the dents out of the little part of the door next to the window where it’s flat. The only thing that DIDN’T get ruined was the moon roof (Thank God.)</p><p>Next up we have my 1998 Jeep - the yeah-I’m-going-fast-copper-whatcha-gonna-do-about-it RED Jeep. I managed to wait three years before I put a softball CLING-ON in the back window. More clunking ensued and the electrical system started to go. This time I didn’t get stuck in the car, just the dash lights would go dead at inopportune moments. I was very unhappy when we decided to trade it in.</p><p>However, that brought me to my wonderful black Jeep that I drive today. This one, I waited about two months. I put another window cling in the back (this one is ‘My Min-Pin is smarter than your Honor Student’). Guess what? Remember my lovely stories about the power steering and heated seats? That happened about a week after the cling. </p><p>THEY WERE WINDOW. CLINGS. fer chrissakes. Who’da thunk it?</p><p>The only time the Mojo didn’t get me was when I had my Harley (yeah, you read that right. I also weighed in at 118 sopping wet. I was a hot biker chick. *grin* For the curious, it was an 1100 Sportster with the Evolution engine). I had stickers on my helmet that read "You never forget your first pig" and "If you can read this, the asshole fell off" (I *really* liked the 2nd one - because my ex IS an asshole.) Thank God the Mojo didn’t get me with those, could you imagine? I’m lucky my head didn’t explode. </p><p /><p /><p>
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