<p><i>…was a bear.</i></p><p><i>Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.</i></p><p><i>Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy….was he?</i></p><p>I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned that I live in the ‘wilds’ of the Berkshire Hills however, I haven’t really blogged about the ‘issues’ that one faces from time to time while living in this ‘utopia’. (there was sarcasm in that statement – can ya find it?) ;o)</p><p>No, I’m not talking about the ‘upfers’ (that’s a whole ‘nother nightmare) I’m talking about the bears.</p><p>Yes, bears. Big ones. Big, black, hungry ones that seem to enjoy snacking on our garbage. Sometimes they even take it to go and we get to go garbage hunting.  We usually find it about a quarter mile away in the neighbors’ yard (that part is <span title="Roger Rabbit – my SO" class="serendipity_glossaryMarkup">RR</span>’s particular favorite).</p><p>Last Tuesday we were awoken by the motion sensor that covers our driveway. At 5 am. I am not a happy camper at <i>5</i> fricken <i>a</i> fricken <i>m</i>. The thing wouldn’t stop dinging so RR got up to check it out. Next thing I heard was, &quot;OH MY GAWD – we’ve got bears!&quot; </p><p>So of course, I had to get up. Dammit.</p><p>Right after I got out of bed a big tractor trailer truck went by and scared the hell out of the bears – one ran into the trees and the other ran up the tree. The big black blob hanging onto the side of the tree trunk is ‘baby bear’:</p><p><a class="serendipity_image_link" href="http://jessaluknits.com/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006001web.jpg" onclick="F1 = window.open(‘/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006001web.jpg’,’Zoom’,’height=495,width=655,top=144,left=192,toolbar=no,menubar=no,location=no,resize=1,resizable=1,scrollbars=yes’); return false;"><img width="175" height="131" style="border: 0px none ; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px;" src="http://jessaluknits.com/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006001web.serendipityThumb.jpg" alt="" /></a></p><p>Now I love nature just as much as the next gal.  However, I most definitely do *not* love nature ten feet from my house at five fricken am a mere two hours prior to when my lovely daughter (whom I may want to kill on a regular basis but I love very much) will be waiting for the school bus a mere five feet from where these things are munching on last weeks pizza. Want another photo? For scale?</p><p><a class="serendipity_image_link" href="http://jessaluknits.com/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006018web.jpg" onclick="F1 = window.open(‘/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006018web.jpg’,’Zoom’,’height=495,width=655,top=144,left=192,toolbar=no,menubar=no,location=no,resize=1,resizable=1,scrollbars=yes’); return false;"><img width="175" height="131" style="border: 0px none ; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px;" src="http://jessaluknits.com/uploads/Photos/Bears06-12-2006018web.serendipityThumb.jpg" alt="" /></a></p><p>This one was taken from my bathroom. With no zoom. They were damned closed to my house.</p><p>Freaks me right the hell out. So while I was quietly panicking RR got out his ‘stash’ of firecrackers and proceeded to scare the hell out of them. Okay, I’ll admit to a couple of fantasies involving a 12 gauge (oh COME ON – they were right NEXT TO MY HOUSE. I’m allowed.) RR finally managed to scare them away around 6am and we all went back to bed (for 20 minutes). </p><p>So now every bag of trash gets cayenne pepper and bleach before it gets put out.</p><p>Should I get two sticks to bang together a la &quot;<a target="_blank" href="http://jessaluknits.com/exit.php?url_id=1495&amp;entry_id=217" title="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055277/" onmouseover="window.status=’http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055277/’;return true;" onmouseout="window.status=”;return true;">Parent Trap</a>&quot;? ;o) It may not be effective in scaring them away but if I throw one at an oncoming bear maybe I’d get lucky and hit it in the eye which might slow it down and give me a fighting chance to get the hell away from it…maybe?</p><p />

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